I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
