Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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