can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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