dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
