help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
