I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
