I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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