The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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