I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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