dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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