i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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