Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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