I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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