Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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