I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
