But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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