Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
