im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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