I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
