i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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