so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
