I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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