Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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