Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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