As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
