i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You're earring is so big in my mouth
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
