Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
