is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
