I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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