So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
