I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize