office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
