Someone shit on the floor
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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