Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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