yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
