Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
