i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he thought i was a dude.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
