I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
