..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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