Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
