Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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