mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
