I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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