Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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