dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am never drinking with the goths again.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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