We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
