Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
barbara walters just said penis...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All the doctor said was why
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
