i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
