Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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