Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize