I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
