it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
