Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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