My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
