Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
