so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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