Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
