she looked like the before picture.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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