just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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