So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
