Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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