Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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