In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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