just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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