If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
