There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
