I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
