Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
